Mak Tok (my beloved grandma), the Legacy Continues.....

Perhaps not everyone knows about this wonderful creation of Allah, named Patimah Sham Binti Abdul Kadir. Her 85 years of life was filled with memorable events and she had touched a lot of souls. As one of the persons spending most times with towards the end of her life, I felt obliged to share my knowledge of the person affectionately known as Maktok, with her grandchildren and great-great grandchildren especially those who missed the opportunity of meeting this lovable lady.
Maktok was the last of six children (hence the nickname Ucu Sham) to Abdul Kadir bin Ming and Nah @ Aminah Binti Yusuf. Her siblings were Abdul Mutallib (died an infant), Abu Talib (died at the age of 8), Abdul Ghaffar (died in his early 20’s), Mahftum and Mahensun. Her early days were spent in Tanjung Selabu, Muar and she later moved inland to Muar town at Jalan Hashim (later registered as 7E Jalan Kim Kee) Muar, where most of her life was spent, raising her family and watching the family grew.

Important dates (year):
Circa. 1905 : Birth (as per IC)
Circa. 1911 : Death of father
Circa. 1927 : Marriage to her cousin Kassim Bin Omar
Circa. 1928 : Birth of first child (son) – Ibrahim aka Pak Long (now deceased)
Circa. 1930 : Birth of second child (son) – Mohd Yassin aka Pak Chong (now deceased)
Circa. 1932 : Birth of third child (daughter) – Siti Hajar aka Achai aka Mak Uteh (now deceased)
Circa. 1936 : Birth of fourth child (daughter) – 20th May – Atiah aka Mak Yah
Circa. 1938 : Birth of fifth child (daughter) – Hamidah aka Mak Y; Moved to Parit Sulong; Take on Seri and Dakam as adopted children
1940 : Moved back to Muar; Birth of sixth child (son) – 1st October – Idris aka Yeh aka Pak Lang; Death of mother
1942 : Japanese Occupation; Birth of seventh child (daughter) – 2nd October – Zaharah aka Mak Did
1944 : Birth of eighth child (daughter) – Rokiah aka Mak Itam
1946 : Birth of ninth child (son) – 24th Dec – Mohd Ghazali aka Cik Mat
1952 : Birth of tenth child (daughter) – 25th Dec – Zainab aka Mak Hanim
1969 : Death of husband, Kassim Bin Omar
1975 : Perform Hajj in Mecca with eldest sister, Mahftum
1978 : Death of eldest sister, Mahftum aka Tok Ngah aka Mak Biah
1981 : Death of elder sister, Mahensun aka Tok Umi aka Dē
1986 : Death of best friend (Tuk Ngah Darat)
1987 : Death of second child (Pak Chong)
1988 : Fell ill with stroke – admitted to Muar GH
1989 : Transferred to Klang GH and later brought to Zaharah’s house in Klang
1990 : Moved to Kulai under Hamidah’s care; Later moved to Muar under Atiah’s care; Later moved to KLGH; Later moved to Nightingale Nursing House, Ulu Kelang, Selangor , where she spent her last days.
19th December 1990 – passed away, buried in Muslims Cemetery, Lipat Kajang, Klang.

Ode to My Hubby

It had to be you,

It had to be you

I wandered around

And finally found

The somebody who

Could make me be true

Could make me be blue

Or even be glad

Just to be sad

Just thinking of you

Some others I've seen

Might never be mean

Might never be cross

Or try to be boss

But they wouldn't do

For nobody else gave me the thrill

With all your faults I love you still

It had to be you

It had to be you

It had to be you............................

(Harry Connick Jr)

E-filing (Part II)

Senang jer weh buat e-filing..... tak sampai 10 menit.... setelah ditolong oleh IT Support Desk staff to enable my PC nak buat e-filing. Sebelum ni takleh nak Active X tu.. alhamdulillah.... seperti tahun2 sebelum ini, LHDN hutang I la..... tapi I have to go to LHDN one of these days sebab nak kemaskinikan fail la.... yang terlebih2 bayar tu tak pernah I dapat cheque apa2 from LHDN, last year siap dapat surat suruh tambah potongan sebab tak cukup bayar for 2005, ntah apa2 la..... malas nak bising, bayau jer la..... this time terlebih bayar RM873.00.

Try buat for husband, takleh plak. Nak cuba kat rumah la.... malam tadi dah boleh guna semula dah my streamyx tu.

Apa2 pun alhamdulillah... tak bersalah against Akta Cukai Pendapatan sebab tak submit borang. Tahun ni nak start bayar zakat lah....

E-filing

I have always been known to meet deadlines. I have also been accussed of being too organised that my Finnish hall mate from my days in Reading once asked me if I also organise my dustbin......
Ever since I had an Income Tax file opened under my name, I have never failed to submit the EA form. This year, I have been waiting for my PIN and even after requesting for it through emails and faxed letters, nothing happened until I gave up, printed out the hard copy and filled them up, to be sent sometimes this week. And lo and behold... this morning Pn Norhayati from LHDN called me up and gave me my PIN. Should I proceed with submitting the hard copy? Or should I do e-filing? But I am sure I will have to seek assistance from the IT Support Desk to enable me to do the submission on-line.
Argh.....!!! I'll wait for Friday and decide......

My Babies, My Life (Part IV)

2006 has not been a very smoothsailing year...... but my babies have brighten up my life... my guardian angel Haakem has prayed hard for the family, my Millie has brushed all my sorrows with her contagious smiles and praise to Allah..... I have managed to cope.

My Babies, My Life (Part III)

- From Part I -

Haakem had a few names in mind before I even went for my first check-up. He first wanted a baby boy to be his playmate. But later on after some coaxing he said he didn't care much as long as Mama is well and didn't have to go through much pain. As I mentioned in Part I, I have always wanted a baby girl especially if that was to be my last pregnancy. I have had a name for my daughter since I was 19... hahahahah...... so, when my mom asked if it was a girl that night, without hesitation I said her name out loud. Kamaliah (Perfection) Zulaikha (Beauty and also the name of Prophet Yusof's wife). She has after all, completed my life.

My little girl sucked on my breast and was sleeping peacefully until around 6.00 am when I heard somebody moved to the bed next to mine. I said hello to the full term mother, chatting for a bit before trying to stretch my legs. I felt a cramp coming on my tummy. It was quite intense but it came and go every ten minutes. At around 7.30 am, I got up to take my shower and changed my sanitary towel. I felt a lot better after that. I tidied up my bed, had my breakfast and continued to breastfeed my baby. The cramp still came and went at regular intervals.

I had my VE at 8.00 am and the doctor gave me an all clear. Haakem came with my husband in the afternoon. It was a Monday so the ward was not too packed like it was during the weekend, which visiting hours was 12.00 noon to 7.30pm. Haakem was so thrilled to see his long awaited baby sister but I think he was more thrilled to see me. My aunt, mom and sister-in-law were also there. The doctor came to check the baby and told me that once she has a bowel movement, we can be released.

At 1.00 pm they left and I tried to lie down. I felt faint from not having enough rest. I just realised that I had used up all my energy the night before. My girl still has not had her first poo. The doctor tried to induce it by inserting a thermometer inside her anus but nothing came out. She was feeding well, peeing well and was generally happy. I knew my aunt has started to go worried at home.

My sister, brother, youngest aunt and her family came to vist in the evening. After they left, my baby is still not dirtying her nappy.

Night came and after feeding her, I asked the nurse to look after my girl and went to sleep. I slept from 10.00pm to 3.00 am. My girl was also sleeping but was at the nurse station. I went to the bathroom to change and fed my baby after that.

Morning came and I had a few new neighbours, some has just delivered and some are waiting for labour. My baby hasn't pooed yet.

At 12.30 Haakem and my husband came and we had a great family time. At 1.20pm, I went to the bathroom and after cleansing myself I leaned against the bathroom wall to support myself, to put my panties on, I felt something bulging from inside towards my pubic area. IT WAS SOMETHING I HAD NEVER FELT BEFORE!!! I was thinking of the worst. Could it be my uterus collapsing? I have heard that from my mom many times before. I stood up straight and I felt a heavy blob inside. WHATTEHELL!!! I spread my legs opened and GUSHED, something came out. It was a big blob of blood clot, looking very much like liver, splat on the bathroom floor. Lucky I was not standing on the toilet bowl otherwise I would not be able to see what it was. Suddenly I felt so light and as if a heavy weight was lifted from within me. The cramp I felt before has totally gone.

But what about the clot on the floor? Should I press the call button? I didn't want to cause panic. I put on my blouse, sarong and head cover on. I warned a lady not to go inside the bathroom. I went to the nurse station (the ward is still bustling with visitors and patients chatting and having lunch) and babies crying. I asked an assistant nurse to come to the bathroom, explaining what happened. She was shocked to see the clot and immediately called a staff nurse who was also shocked and they called the doctor on duty, the doctor who cleared me the day before and he looked really worried. The nurse said it could be a deformed twin but the doctor was convinced that it was placenta. He scooped it and placed it in the yellow lab plastic bag, asking my permission to have it checked just to be sure.

They left me and I continued cleaning myself and getting dress. I went back to my bed and my husband asked what took me so long. I told him what happened briefly and he was pale! I told him I felt better and not to worry. The doctor came to see me, my record file in his hand. Another doctor, a young lady was with him. They told me that I have to stay on for observation for another 12 hours, just in case. I told them to double check with the nurse who attended to my labour, she was the one confirming that my placenta was complete but I was not in any way trying to put any blame on her.

I felt really happy after that and thank Allah, no heavy bleeding of any sort happened. My aunt who came in the evening also told me that I looked radiant, which was not the case in the morning.

At 9.30pm that night, my little baby girl dirtied her nappy..... I had tears in my eyes. It was as if, she knew things were not over yet and I was not supposed to be released yet. It was Allah's ways of showing his greatness. I called my husband informing him of the same. I guess I could check out the next day.

My angel dirtied her nappy again at 10.30pm..... and after being fed, she slept peacefully almost throughout the night. It was me who couldn't sleep for I couldn't take my eyes of her.... all the time I was helping the young first time mother in the next bed. She too had a baby girl.....

(to be continued...........)

My Babies, My Life (Part II)

Blogs did not exist and website is just too taxing when I had my first baby, Haakem who is my guardian angel. He is always there for me.... and when my aunt's husband passed away, I left him with his baby sitter with my aunt to keep her company..... and when I was pregnant with my little Millie, he was the one who looked after me, massaged my legs after all the walks and bus rides to and from work, talked to his little baby sister inside my tummy, felt her first kicks, rubbed my shoulders and forehead whenever I felt faint or nauseated, called to check on me at work if I was feeling okay...... He was particularly concerned when I was admitted to the hospital... writing words of comfort in my diary, drawing comforting pictures for me and he prayed alot so that I would not be too much in pain and would not die in labour.... he is also very protective of me.

And he excels at school, earning straight A's, doing especially well in Art. He finished reading the Quran at the age of seven years and four months old and wanted to undergo circumcision a week before that. He still reads the Quran every night and learns a lot of du'as by heart....

I am really proud of him..... of course he has his flaws but those make him more perfect. My Haakem, my guardian angel......

(to be continued.............)

My Babies, My Life (Part I)

When I was 19, somebody foretold that I was going to have 4 boys and whenever we were fooling around with "methods of prediction", I would always be told that I will have 4 boys and I would be sad because I want at least a girl. Not that I believed in fortune telling... Truth is, I have always wanted 2 boys and 2 girls... but when I only got married at the age of 28, my expection reduced a bit, three kids would do.... when I gave birth 9 months after my wedding, it was up back to 4. After 5 years with no sign of being pregnant, without being on any contraceptive mode, I almost gave up, thinking that my son will be an only child all his life. My husband was also not too encouraging, from all aspects.

But Allah the great has answered my silent prayers.... sometimes around my 35th birthday, I became pregnant. It was really unexpected but somehow I knew I was pregnant. My son, Haakem was the first to know and come to think of it, he has a few months before that claimed that he is ready for a baby brother or sister. I guess, Allah granted me my wish only when the important people around me are ready too..... and then Haakem blurted the news to my aunt. He was so excited and started thinking of names already. My husband was the third person to know. I told my sisters a few days after that and my closest friends too.... everyone was so excited. I went for checkups and since I have a family history of diabetics, I asked to do the GTT at 3rd month. I had a regular fortnight check ups and was advised to control my diet which I did without any problem. It just happened naturally. Somehow I knew I was carrying a baby girl inside me...

I was admitted on Sept 2nd 2006 and was to be induced (since I was on the diabetic border case, so they don't want to risk it) and baby was also ready. The doctor inserted the tablet at 6.45 am but until 1.00 pm, my cervical opening is still at 2 cm. But all the while I was praying that I would not give birth before 3rd September because then I will need to take extra annual leave for Eid etc and Allah again granted my wish, my baby was born at 1.28 am on 4th Sept 2006. I started to feel the contractions at 7.00 pm on 3rd Sept and was all tears when my husband had to leave (end of visiting hours). At around 9.00 pm I perform my prayers and was so relief and felt so near to Allah. at 10.00 pm the nurse who checked me asked if I am okay and I told her I have started feeling the pain. I had tears but I wasn't sobbing. I just let the tears flowed... and the nurse checked my tummy and she expressed amazement that I was not screaming or calling for help because I was really having powerful contractions.

At 12.00 midmight, I went for VE and it was only still at 2 cm. But due to the strong contractions the doctor decided to rupture the membrane and that was really painful. Once ruptured, I was drenched with the fluid... I had to change my hospital gown and then went to clean my self... at 12.30 they monitored the baby and baby was feeling distressed. VE, 6 cm and I was brought to the labour room sometimes before 1 am. I tried calling my husband but he didn't pick up the phone. Earlier at 9.00 pm, I asked him to come and he said he would be at the ward by 10.00pm.... I was really sad when I had to go into the labour room without him knowing..... I just calm myself and told myself that Allah will always be on my side....

The labour room was packed! I was attended to by a nurse and she was really stern but it was a good thing else I would be too pampered. They prepared to deliver the baby. After one great push my baby gushed out of my belly at 1.28 am and was put on my tummy. She was grey and all cries. They sucked out all the mocus from her mouth. I asked if it's a boy or a girl and the nurse asked to check it myself. I checked and was very thankful to Allah... IT WAS A GIRL!!!! A beautiful girl!!! The other nurse took my baby away while I went on to the next stage. I told the nurse that I had retained placenta and had to undergo MRP during my first delivery. She just told me to pray that it is not retained this time... hmmm..... my mom who is a midwife with 27 years experience told me that once you have a retained placenta, it is a 99% chance that you will have it for subsequent deliveries. My placenta was out and I asked her if it is complete and she confirmed so.... she stitched me up and changed my gown.

I was out of the labour room by 2.10 am and my trolleybed was parked along the corridor together with 3 other mothers. I was given hot chocolate which I gulp in seconds. They put my baby, all cleaned and swaddled in green hospital cloth, next to me and pushed us back to bed at around 2.30 am. I called my husband and told him to come as my baby has not got the azan and prayers cited next to her little ears, yet. My baby was dressed by an assistant nurse.

Only half an hour later my husband and my mother arrived. My husband took my baby and cited prayers. My mom asked if it was a girl or a boy. I told her, it's Puti Kamaliah Zulaikha.... and my husband was smiling brightly... all the while thinking that it would be a boy. After I positioned my baby for breastfeeding while lying down, I asked my husband to give my legs massage. After half an hour, they left .... and I was there alone with my baby next to me... my beautiful baby girl.... my Millie.....

(to be continued)