Ramadhan... then and now

I remember my first fasting during Ramadhan way back in 1976 when I was only 5 years old (turning 6 at the end of the year). I had to stop halfway for the first 2 days. The first day I broke my fast at 12.00 noon with a piece of kuih bengkang pisang (densed banana cake) and the second day at 10.00am with a glass of milk. I also stopped from attending my kindergarden class. The rest of the fasting month went by without any incident. In 1977 I fasted the whole one month. 1978 was also fine but in 1979 I missed 3 days. 1980 was fine and so was 1981. In 1982 I started missing a few days of fasting and had started to replace them too!! Argh!!

I remember that I always dreaded Ramadhan during my teens and twenties, well except when I was in UK for the days were very short. In 1992-1996, we generally only had to fast from 7.30am to 4.00pm and that was a breeze!! I took the chance to replace all my missed days during those winter seasons too!!

When I came back to Malaysia and started working and leaving on my own (with my younger sister), Ramadhan was more meaningful as we used the time on reading the Holy Qur'an and night prayers. I count my blessings for those days, especially the year Abah passed away, a few days before Ramadhan.

But now, as a wife and a mother (and an employee), Ramadhan goes by very swiftly..... Haakem is an angel, he started fasting even earlier than I did, at the age of 4 and completed a full month on his first attempt. We never have any problem with him whining or complaining of hunger, thirst or anything of the sort, oh well, except that he sleeps alot during the day and last year he missed one day of fasting because Millie's Ribena and fried chicken was too tempting. For the past years he would only drink some water for sahur but this year he wakes up every morning at 5.15am for his proper meal.

As for me, I would usually make sure all the baju rayas, shoes etc are in place a few weeks before Ramadhan so that I can spend the fasting months doing more beneficial things, spiritually. Except for the cakes, cookies and crisps for Eid, the rest are done.

At the workfront, we were quite busy for the first 2 weeks but things are slowing down. Everyone is in Raya mood (except for a few who always think that they are busiest - I always put that to lack of organisation). I put up festive lights in my room, which I share with a colleague and brought some festive lights and old money packets from last years for my other colleagues to decorate our little office. I have completed writing all the greeting cards, ready for posting before end of the week.

I would try my best to be home before iftar time. I dislike breakfasting at hotels and for the past few years I manage to keep it to maximum of 2 trips the whole month. I just cannot swallow the fact that the price of my food for that particular day is enough to feed a family of 6 for a week. That always makes me sick. I would go to those costing less than RM40 and only if the event is not pretentious.

This year I have only missed 3 days of breakfasting at home while one was spent outside (Satay Station) with hubby and the kids. I would try to do whatever I can during the nights, in between attending to the little ones. I pray for a chance to encounter laylatulqadr, insya Allah.....

And with only 9 days more...... I pray too that all of my loved ones will experience another Ramadhan..... ameen...